We are shaped by our thoughts and become what we think because that will dictate what we say and do. So what ever you think after the words I AM… Is what you become, it is your identity. However, once you create something and put it out in the world it will be judged by the market and you will receive feedback. In receiving the feedback will you be negatively, positively affected or impartial? Will it alter the way you see yourself? Should it alter your identity?
Identity for some of you will be validated, not based on what you think but based on what the market says. Why is this?
From my research I’ve seen that if you have a great sense of self-awareness (conscious knowledge and clear perception of your personality, including desires, emotions, strengths, weaknesses and habits), not ego driven (selfish thoughts) but are selfless and are being driven by something bigger than yourself which is connected to your purpose, your WHY. Then when you receive negative feedback the question isn’t are you good enough, the question is, is what you have created good enough? Then the next question becomes are you using the right tools to channel your gift to the world, is it the right medium? Do you know what other tools are required or available? Do the tools you need exist or can you invent them? Are you willing to embrace the necessary tools?
You need to be self-aware, selfless and be connected to your WHY to answer these questions honestly.
For example one of my coaches has a home decor business called OT&O. She has loved sketching and designing things since she was a kid but she moved away from this as she grew older, graduated from university and started a career as a HR executive. She was freelancing earning much more than she would in a fixed role. Her contract role ended and she didn’t have another one lined up; what she thought would take a month or so to get a new contract, took nearly a year. In that time she rediscovered her passion for sketching and design. From there, OT&O was born.
Through our coaching sessions she was taken on a journey and explored her purpose deeply, her WHY. She wanted to bring the feeling of family, joy and happiness to others in their homes. These three things meant the world to her. The home has always been her sanctuary, where she felt safe, happy and loved. She took her purpose and using the tool of sketching, she created beautiful rugs that are designed to touch the hearts of anyone who sees them. It transports them internally to a place where they feel the security, happiness and peace of being around loved ones.
She can convince herself how much of a good sketch artist and designer she is but if no one buys her rugs, then she will question how good she really is.
Should that change her WHY, should that change her identity? Of course not, it is feedback! She will however internalize the feedback from the market and the effect on her will be greater or lesser dependent on how self-aware she is, how strong her self identity is and how much she understands her WHY.
Her rug is the medium that connects her God-given talent to the world. She uses her talent for sketching to design the rugs but she does not use the sketches as the medium between her and the world.
She is not creating her rugs to fuel her own ego, she is there to serve, she is selfless, self-aware and connected to her WHY!
If your WHY is rooted in music, you know how to create something that will touch the hearts and souls of the world but you can’t sing, then you should consider another medium. Perhaps, it might be through an instrument, it might be through writing songs or it might be through producing music.
You need to ask yourself some hard questions:
- Why am I here?
- Why am I doing what I am doing?
- Why am I talented in certain things?
- How can I channel that talent into something that I am passionate about?
- Do I want to be the best I can be at what I do?
Find out the answers to all of those questions and discover whether or not you’re meant to be a city high flyer, renowned rug designer or a world class composer etc.
Remember in all that you do to be self aware, centered in who you are, focused on being selfless and connected with your WHY.